Being Positive

Ok, so I am rocking the whole daily exercise routine thing.  I'm managing to allot for 45 minutes to an hour everyday.  I'm eating right and I'm feeling better everyday.  I think I can say that I am succeeding with goal #2.  I'm hoping that in a few weeks/months I will have made it a habit, one that I can't not do.

I've also been making conscious efforts on goal #5.  I haven't really been about to go out and serve the community (yet) but I have been trying to give service around the house.  Since I live at home for the time being, I have had the unique opportunity to help out with house chores, yard work, and farm work.  While I used to gripe and moan, I try to do it now with a smile on my face, and do chores that aren't my own (just to surprise certain family members).  It's been fulfilling.

Now, I have to confess that I am struggling with goals #1 and #7. 

As far as goal #1 is concerned, I'm finding the will power to go out to social functions exceptionally difficult.  I have no desire to attend young single adult activities (institute, FHE, and even church).  I'm attempting to use this guise that "Oh I have no friends.  It's hard to go with no friends."  Lame excuse.  I know.  If I go, I'll make friends.  More importantly, I'm an independent woman and I shouldn't need some crutch to interact with people my own age.  I just need to be positive about the whole experience and find the will power to overcome my trepidation and perceptions about Latter-Day Saint Young Single Adults (yeah... I recognize that I have a negative attitude towards that particular group).  

Now, goal #7 is the bane of my existence.  I've heard the whole "To be happy... you have to choose to be happy."  Or "Money can't buy you happiness." Blah blah blah... True... but blah blah blah.  It's hard to be happy when I have no job, no apartment, no way to pay my bills, have only a 2 year old to carry on a conversation with (because she's the only one who will listen to me - even though she HATES me) and even she won't listen!  Woof!  Now that I've gotten that off my chest I can say this:

Mychal, work on being positive.  Everything is going to work out (fingers crossed).  

I'm trying; and trying is the most important part.  I guess I felt like I should have some magical transformation overnight... but it didn't happen.  More importantly... it shouldn't have happened!  We're trying to make long-lasting, real life, serious effing changes here!  Sh*t like this doesn't just happen.  Goals have to be worked at, only obtained through vigorous and dedicated effort.  I've got to be positive!  That is the only way I'm going to accomplish making the changes I want to make.

So... *gulp*... I should to go to institute tonight.  We'll see what happens.  Baby steps... baby steps... some steps are better than no steps... right?

*** Addendum ***
I went to Institute tonight!  I know, I'm shocked too!  Now, I'll admit, it was LAME.  But that's ok.  I went, I socialized (ish) and I learned a few valuable lessons.

1.  Institute is Seminary for Young Single Adults.
2.  I miss BYU Religion classes (particularly my classes taught by Alonzo Gaskill).
3.  I am fun!  Darling Brianna Sharri sat by me tonight and I made her laugh many many times (although I may have corrupted her a bit too... oops).
4.  I have good friends.
5.  I'm going to keep going.

Go me!  I'm a WHINNER.