I'm Back

I'm back dah-lings!

I know it's been quite a few days since my last post.  I haven't felt much of a desire to post anything because I've been down in the dumps.  I hate when that happens.  It took me awhile to pull myself out of it, but I did.  

So what to talk about... hmmm...

I've been exercising 5-6 times a week for an hour.  I also lift weights and work on my abs every other day.  I haven't noticed a huge difference yet.  I know the weight loss is slowing down dramatically and it's taken a pretty severe tool on me emotionally.  It wouldn't be so bad if my weight didn't fluctuate so much.  I haven't measured in over a week because the last time I weighed in (I weighed in on a Wednesday & a Thursday) my weight fluctuated 3 lbs.  Yeah... it's only three lbs, but it punched me in the stomach. 

I've been working really hard to stay on track, which means stay between 1200-1500 calories a day and exercise regularly.  I've splurged a few times, but afterwards the guilt always propels me to exercise much more rigorously.

Side note:

I've finally got all of my Reebok Zigs.  Want to see a picture of them!?  Ok ok ... here you go.

ME LIKE!  They're bold, eccentric, jubilant, garish, and outlandish.  Much like me!  hahahaha

Confession Time

I have to admit something.  I'm pretty disappointed... and I'm disappointed in myself.

I know I'm working on me, for me.  I want to like who I am.  I want to love how I look.  

BUT...

I won't lie about the fact that I thought guys might start to be more interested in me.  The fact that they're not... SUCKS.

I try to convince myself that it's ok.  That they don't know what they are missing out on.  I don't need a guy to be happy.  Someday, when I look the way I want, they will all want me and none will get me... blah blah blah.

I mostly just want to get over the disappointment.  I think every girl has a pipe dream where some amazing guy is attracted to who they are and not how they look.  I'm no exception, I wanted a guy to want me, right now, because I can make him laugh, I'm loyal, I'm intelligent, I'm kinda-sorta-talented.  And then in 9 months or a year, I'd be the girl he deserves.  The girl people would stare at and go "WOW, he's lucky."  And he would feel lucky because he knew I worked hard to become that person.  And I would know that he wanted the REAL me and that the physically fit me was a PHAT bonus.

Yeah... I know that's LAME.  But it was my pipe dream.

Oh well, life happens and we roll with it!

Until next time dolls!

Love,
Mych