"Fitspiration"

Hello My Lovelies!

As many of you know, I'm an advocate of the "Beauty Redefined" movement.

A brief synopsis, Beauty Redefined was founded by Lexi and Lindsay Kite, PhD Communication students at the University of Utah. Beauty Redefined's purpose is simple, poignant, and IMPORTANT; "Beauty Redefined is dedicated to counteracting harmful media messages about women's bodies and worth. Through our website, http://www.beautyredefined.net, ... we work to help all people recognize and reject distorted ideas about beauty, health and happiness. Join us in the fight to take back beauty for girls and women everywhere!"

Their message has profoundly impacted Changing My Life Today. More aptly, it has profoundly impacted me. Their message reached me at a critical moment in my physical, emotional, and mental transformation. Their message aided me in changing my personal perception of myself. Their work, their research, their openness, honesty, and dedication to exposing the harmful messages in the media solidified my change from the need to be "skinny" and "hot" to being "healthy" and "happy."

A recent trend, labeled "fitspiration", has become an obsession of mine. It has also come under close scrutiny by women and men participating in the social movement that encourages healthy living as opposed to fat-shaming or skinny-shaming. Often, images of incredibly toned, sweaty, and scantily clad women in athletic apparel are the background for a motivational and inspirational saying.

Beauty Redefined recently posted a wonderful post in regards to this topic. You can read it here: http://www.beautyredefined.net/why-fitspiration-isnt-so-inspirational/

Let me insert a few excerpts here, passages that hit especially close to home.

"Ever heard of a thing called “thinspo” or “thinspiration?” It’s an online world of thousands – even millions – of females who share and collect pictures of very thin women as inspiration to keep up their eating disorders... Beauty Redefined is here to reveal truth – to speak about things as they really are – and we echo Charlotte over on The Great Fitness Experiment: “Fitspo may be thinspo in a sports bra.” 


Be very aware of any “fitspiration” that is advertising something... Pay attention to the advertising so often being done in these “fitness inspiration” messages and you will see what is really being sold here. Is it a message of real health and fitness or a message asking you to commodify yourself by buying sports bras, yoga pants, the latest fitness DVD, etc. to appear a certain way. 


Next time you see one of these “fitspiration” messages, please ask yourself how it makes you feel. If these images and texts motivate you to respect your body as something that can do so much good, make and reach fitness goals, and maintain health that will keep you happy and able, then they are appropriate for you. If they motivate you to worry about being looked at or to improve parts of your body to meet a beauty ideal you see in media, you must be aware of this. 


[A fitspiration photo] It has effectively chopped a woman into just a part of her – without a head as is so often done in objectifying but totally normal and harmless-looking media. This part of her also happens to be sexually alluring to men, which is so often the case in this same objectifying but totally normal and harmless-looking media. Her hand is placed in her pants in a way that looks very reminiscent of a woman about to pull down her pants in a sexually alluring way. Her hip bones, navel, and cleavage are highlighted by the lighting of the shot, which say nothing of fitness or whatever the “it” is spoken of in the text. Nike leaves this ad open for interpretation so the “it” can be a well-meaning physical fitness goal, but the image would lead one to assume it is a look – a vision of oneself – that is the goal. A sexually appealing, “to be looked at” goal that leaves little room for worrying about internal indicators of health or meeting a fitness goal like hiking to the top of that peak or finishing that race or getting your heart rate up every day. 


If these images and messages categorized as “fitness inspiration” actually inspire body shame – you feel ashamed of the beauty ideals you cannot reach and want to hide or judge your body or covet other women’s bodies – then these messages are not inspirational at all. They trigger you to feel anxiety, hopelessness, and ask you to resort to extremes to get somewhere largely unattainable for healthy people. 


We borrow from the fantastic Virginia Sole-Smith again for our last very important point: “Any motivational statement that has to diss another type of body in order to make you feel good about your body? Not. Helping. Anyone.” You’ve seen those photos of Marilyn Monroe vs. Nicole Richie with the words: “When did this become hotter than this?” or some variation. Ugh. When we pit female against female, we get nowhere fast. We continue minimizing each other to our bodies EVERY TIME we judge each others’ bodies, comment on them, even compliment each other. 


You are capable of much more than being looked at. When you believe that, you break free from the prison walls that keep you confined to your body, pitted against every other woman/prisoner in her own individual cell, always monitored by a gaze that controls your beliefs about yourself and your actions. Beauty Redefined is here to shine a light in on that lonely prison cell and remind you what you are capable of in a world so badly in need of you – not a vision of you – but all of you. Thank you for joining the fight!" 

I'm guilty of more than I'd like to be after reading that article. But, as they always do, the delightful Beauty Redefined Duo has me thinking, changing, evolving, growing, and understanding the various problems with my infatuation with "fitspiration".

I expressed my opinion earlier on Facebook openly as this:

• I find the objectification of the human form repugnant. Being healthy & happy is what is important, not being skinny. If there is one thing I cannot tolerate it is the relentless hounding we receive via media to be a certain size, a specific weight, look a specific way. The judgement of our physical body that so prevalently permeates our society causes irreparable psychological and emotional damage to people. I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS. Hence the disclaimer on my [fitspiration] album. May I reemphasize the fact that we do NOT have to look like the people in these photos (in all honesty they don't even look like that). Our value and worth is not dependent on our physical aesthetic. We are more than our physical bodies. The culmination of our being is what defines us. Our humor, our intelligence, our passion, our charity, our devotion, our loyalty, our spirituality, and our health identify us, set us apart, and dictate our humanity. We have an obligation to exercise each and every component of our being. This includes the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual entities of our being. We are remarkable creations and as such it is our responsibility to live up to our potential.  

The disclaimer on my "fitspiration" album reads as this:

• This is NOT an album promoting "thinspiration". These are sayings that I find motivational and encouraging in helping me achieve a healthy lifestyle. I understand that the images have been altered, photoshopped, edited, and manipulated to sell a lifestyle and/or brand. I understand that they are objectifying of the female form. So please, don't think that you, OR I have to look like this. And guys... please don't post comments endorsing the objectification of the women in the pictures... rather the endorse the motivational force in the pursuit of health and happiness.

I maintain the statements said above. I will also admit that in several instances I've had male friends comment on the "pictures" and not the motivational statement attached. Those comments instilled in me a seed of anxiety which takes root and grows more every time a man comments on them in an objectifying manner (whether he does so knowingly or not).

I've realized that I'm perpetuating an ideal I do not endorse. So I make an apology and a promise to myself, to my Twitter followers, to my Pinterest followers, to my blog followers, to my Facebook followers, to my fellow women, to the young family members who are my friends on Facebook, to any person striving to live a healthy and happy lifestyle...

• I am sorry for spamming your feeds with objectifying, potentially harmful, and counter-productive images under the pretense of "fitspiration". 

• I promise to henceforth edit what I put up to encourage and motivate myself and others to live a healthy lifestyle. I do find the messages motivational and inspirational in my continued fitness journey. But I see the harm in utilizing unrealistic physical ideals to promote fitness. 

I will re-create these motivational saying and phrases with more appropriate photos and backgrounds. In no way do I discredit, not appreciate, or undervalue the dedication and time that the women in the photos have put into their physical bodies... I simply do not want to endorse the objectifying manner in which the women are being portrayed.

As human beings, we are more than our weight, our clothes, or any other variable of our physical appearance. We are a unique combination of brains, beauty, and brawn and all of these most elemental aspects of ourselves should be revered and appreciated. We are also responsible to continue to develop those human attributes. We do this by living a lifestyle where in we care for our bodies in every facet imaginable. We utilize and strengthen it physically, nutritionally, mentally, intellectually, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. That is one of the many keys to a happy life. A healthy lifestyle promotes unity, understanding, charity, love, compassion, support in our families, friendships, relationships, social circles, and communities. Healthy lifestyles foster positivity, optimism and happiness and thusly aids in negating and dissuading the harmful messages of the media and the critical and hurtful social standards of judgement.

So thank you Lexi & Lindsay Kite. Thank you for Beauty Redefined. Thank you for again helping me further understand, solidify, and verbalize my opinion on myself, my lifestyle, and how I want to help others understand themselves.

Love it.

Love them.

Love YOU my dah'ling network of support.

You're wonderful.

 ~ Mychal

Balance

Hello my loves,

 It's been a very, very long time since my last post. My life has been a whirlwind for the past few weeks. It seems as though every waking moment I have is consumed by something other than catching my breath. I'm at work, with friends, at the gym, family is visiting, or I'm cleaning my apartment. I feel like I'm barely able to tread water enough to keep myself from drowning, but somehow or another I'm managing.

 I needed to write something on here. I have neglected you, my loyal and loving supporters, for far too long. Upon request, I'm going to blog about something unrelated to working out or calorie counting. Instead, I've decided to write about one of my many personality flaws. Yes, I have many. The most detrimental (that has been especially pronounced as of late) is the fact that I am too independent. In the past I've allowed people to use and abuse my generous nature. I felt obligated to listen, to assist, console, and uplift others in order to earn, create, and maintain friendships. However, when I reached out, when I needed to be taken care of, when I needed someone to listen to me I was left high and dry; it would seem that the result of these recurring social disappointments are manifested in my strong willed, stubborn, and vehement independence.

I can't, or will not, allow myself to be vulnerable. Forgive me as I'm about to jump atop a soap box and rant for this post... I don't like relying on others. I have a deeply ingrained sense of mistrust for all people. Everyone I have ever opened up to, anyone I've ever trusted, and anyone I've ever reached out to, has let me down in some respect. I recognize that it's not a healthy perspective, but after being burned by nearly every person I've been close to, it's increasingly difficult to open up.

I like to portray myself as a tough chick. I like to think I can do everything on my own; I'm a strong, competent, confident, healthy, and intelligent woman. News flash. I'm not tough at all. Fail. Of the most epic kind. I've been mulling over a few recent social situations in my life, a few personal opinions, some personal perceptions, some social ideologies, and some religious expectations, and I've had a few conversations with people regarding several of these topics. As such, I've come to a few conclusions about myself, about others, and about life.

1. Being a woman is a delicate and precarious balancing act. Men expect a lot from us. We're expected to be independent, but dependent enough that the man can offer or contribute something to the partnership. We need to be dependable and nurturing, but still give them space and not smother them. We need to be attractive and intelligent, but don't attract other guys attention and don't make them feel stupid. If I may say so... man the f*ck up gentlemen. You don't get to be a dead beat, gaming, unemployed, lackadaisical, unmotivated prick and expect the ideally beautiful, toned, smart, funny and all around perfect woman to fall in your lap. You get what you deserve. And you deserve what you earn. If you want a woman like that, get off your ass, get educated, get successful, and earn the right to pursue a woman like that. 
2. Fulfilling the requisites above will result, more often than not, in being friend zoned. I apologize, but I find this socially fabricated arena to be completely absurd. It is merely a ploy for men to: not have to grow the balls to tell your they're not interested and risk losing their best girlfriend OR its a way for them to keep an emotionally vulnerable woman at arms length and perpetually use them to inflate their pathetic ego. I refuse to be friend zoned anymore. As women, or as men, we don't have to be ok with it. We don't have to accept it. We no longer have to allow or enable others to use us as their "just a friend" security blanket. We don't need to be there to buffer a bad break up, to help them win over another guy/girl, or to tell them that they are wonderful, handsome/beautiful, and a great catch. DO NOT mother them, feed them, clean up after them, console them. If they aren't attracted, if they can't see what you have to offer, MOVE ON. Why do we waste time and energy one individuals who doesn't appreciate all we have to offer? You can be a friend, but serious boundaries need to be established when there are no romantic feelings in a mixed sex friendship. You only hurt yourself and deny yourself other wonderful intimate relationships when you willingly remain in the friend zone.

3. I'm a catch. I am a 23 year old BYU graduate with a full time job who is financially independent. I workout; I wear makeup; I'm stylish; I take care of my physical body. By no means am I a model, nor am I beautiful, but I am cute and what I lack physically I make up for with my intellect, my humor, and my variety of mediocre talents. Believe it or not, I'm a catch. And a damn fine one. I deserve a man who wants me for everything I am. I deserve a man with ambition, maturity, intelligence, and fortitude. Someone who is successful. Someone I can be proud of and happy to support. Someone I don't have to convince to want me. Someone who is my best friend. I deserve to be wooed. And the dipshit men who knowingly, or unknowingly pass me up I feel sorry for. I'm sorry. I'm sorry your an immature, shallow, pathetic, stupid son of a b*tch. Any guy who passes up, or is unwilling to work for any remarkable woman that fill this wonderful world... I feel sorry for.

I was recently told I needed to tone down my independence. If I wanted a guy I needed to show some vulnerability, I needed to not showcase my independence as much. I need to be meek to win a man? Hell no.

Let me make something perfectly clear, I will not change who I am for a man. There is nothing wrong with me. There is nothing undesirable about me. If anything, my independence should be attractive. I do not deny that I need to be more open. I need to be willing to rely on others, to talk to others, and to depend on others.

 The balancing act of femininity is something I'm struggling to find equilibrium with. But it is necessary and I'm happy to do it and to progress as an individual. That's what life is all about... progression. I've been asking God for more opportunities to learn, grow, and progress on an emotional and spiritual level, not just physically anymore... It looks live I've found a few ways.

 Any suggestions on how to better open up? On how to be more trusting? On being brave and patient? On maintaining my personal identity while still being open and inviting for a variety of new relationships? Comments, criticism, and conversation welcome.

 Love ya dah'lings! ~Mych