Monday Inspiration

Remember, Remember

Oh my gasch, guys!
I'm such a super duper goob; it makes me sad.  
Remember these?
MY GOALS
1. Be outgoing.
2. Exercise & Lose weight. LOTS of it.
3. Laugh more.
4. Make others laugh more.
5. Serve others.
6. Get to know God again.
7. Be happy.
So, I fail at life.
Why?  Because I got so distracted!  I found success in goals 1 through 4, but then I completely, totally, and absolutely forgot... er... ignored goals 5, 6, and 7. 
Fail.
I suppose I ought to be honest and admit that I've tried to completely erase the religious aspect of my life.  
*GASP*
Yeah, I know.
I'm being completely serious.  I've been "inactive" for around 2 years; but I've doubted my faith and my testimony for much longer.  In case you don't know, I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, born and raised.  I attended and graduated from Brigham Young University, Provo Utah.  I hated every waking moment that I was there.  I was miserable.  I've always felt like the young adults in my religious community, particularly those who reside in the Provo "bubble", are judgmental, cruel, vindictive, and phony.  If you don't meet certain "cultural requirements" or "standards of righteousness" along with "standards of physical attractiveness" you're essentially shunned.  This is commonly referred to as being a "Molly Mormon" or a "Peter Priesthood" and it is quite exhausting. 


I'm not going to lie about how much I've struggled to reconcile the cultural blasphemy & hypocrisy that permeates my religious sect.  I struggled enough that I let it push me away.  I will also admit that I've never questioned the existence of my Creator, my Savior, or the Gospel of Jesus Christ; I just hate church.  I hate the socialized nature of church.  So I stopped.  I stopped going.  I stopped believing in God and His "plan" and I decided to believe in me.  I want to be happy?  I needed to make the changes and choices necessary to be happy.  I didn't need a silly church or God to be the me I want to be.
Well, I managed to plateau the other day.  I plateaued in a big way.  
I've been applying for jobs, I've changed my physical body (I'm healthy now), my emotional health has improved by leaps and bounds, and I thought I was pretty happy. 
Problem.  I'm a liar.  
In the back of my head I kept telling myself, "Look at everything I've done; look at everything I'm doing!  God will fill in the blanks, He'll make stuff work, He'll make things start to happen."
That sounds a bit blasphemous and hypocritical doesn't it?
Fail.  Again.
Well, I haven't been able to shake this nagging feeling of discontent.  By some strange turn of events I was forced to make a few difficult "life changing choices" on my trip to Utah this past week.    
Do I want to take the easy path?  Or do I want to challenge myself?  Do I want to take the more difficult path.  The right path.  
In watching and learning from the people I associate with, the people I am close to, the people I love, and in learning from my own experiences, those two paths are usually not one and the same.  
I knew what path I needed to choose.  The path I should choose.  The path I wanted, but didn't want to choose.  The path I chose anyway.  The right path.  
The path back to God.  I can't ignore Him and then hope that He's got my back when things go down the crapper.  
I really haven't been doing all I can do.  I haven't been praying.  I haven't been reading the scriptures.  I haven't been serving others.  I haven't been attending my church meetings.  In many respects, I'm the exact person I don't want to be.  Ouch.  That pretty much sucks.
Can I just say that it really, genuinely, absolutely, seriously, and totally kind of sucks right now.
My friend Robbie made a valid point though; if I have what it takes to whip my physical body in shape, I sure oughta be able to whip my spiritual self into shape.
And I'm starting.  Today.
Goals 5 though 7, consider yourself my #1 priority.  
The alarms on my phone now read:


 7:oo a.m. - Study Scriptures & Pray
 7:30 a.m. - Take vitamins
 7:45 a.m. - Breakfast!
 8:00 a.m. - WORK OUT (those abs aren't going to make themselves)
 9:00 a.m. - Eye drops
10:00 a.m. - Have a great day.


I love goals.  I hate them too.


No more plateau.  Progress here we go.
Love ya dolls!
~Mych

Focus, Accept, Recommit

I have a few wonderful announcements.  

In case you didn't know... I've been in Utah for a few days.  I had a job interview that happened to coincide with a random trip to visit friends.  I've been carefully tracking my caloric intake & fitting in as much physical exertion as possible.  I walk Effy everyday and I try to exercise when the girls are at school or at work.  I'm making a conscious effort to try and take the most physical route possible because I want to be healthy (aka happy)!  Just sayin.

Oh remember that birthday goal I have, to lose 75 lbs before I turn 23.  Fun fact... I weighed in this morning.  I've lost 4 lbs since last Wednesday!  That means I've lost a total of 76 lbs.  I'm still in shock.  It's surreal to think when I looked at that scale this morning and was 19 lbs away from my total weight loss goal of 95 lbs.

I now fit into my goal size.  I'm a size 14.  I mean, I really fit in them.  I'm talking about virtually no muffin-top when I wear them.  They're not sitting, folded up in my closet taunting me anymore.  I even bought two more pairs and have been essentially banned from wearing anything else (thank you Kylie & Kaitlyn).  

Another most splendid thing happened.  Two people complimented me in a way that changed my life.  An extended family member who has watched my progress over the last 9 months finally learned my pant size a few weeks ago (I was a comfortable size 16), to which she exclaimed "Really!?  Looking at you, I would have guessed you were my size, a 12 or 14."  I know it doesn't sound like much, but it was more uplifting than you could ever imagine!  I was on cloud nine for days.  Then this week, while I've been staying with my friend Kylie, I've had the opportunity to spend time & make friends with her roommates.  Her roommate Chelsea told me that I did NOT look my current weight.  That I looked like I weighted around 160 lbs.  Needless to say my jaw hit the floor.  Then when I woke up and weighed in and am 19 lbs away from my goal... holy smokes.  I feel pretty amazing.

I'm not going to lie about how difficult it has been to phase into the my new body.  More often than not I look in the mirror and still see me 76 lbs ago.  I notice every flaw, every jiggle, and every imperfection.  It's frustrating and often discouraging.  I often joke about being "cute" or "pretty" or "hot" just to help myself believe that I'm not completely unappealing.  I know it sounds stupid and I understand that it's annoying and distasteful; hence, it's a habit I'm trying to curb.  I need to remember my previous rants and diatribes.  Being healthy is the goal.  Feeling confident is the goal.  Having sex appeal is not.  This is about me, not about men.  I want to be able to love everything about myself: my personality, my intellect, and my body.  I want every woman to be able to feel the same way.  To look in a mirror and smile, not immediately point out a problem.  I need to remember that.  I need to practice what I preach.  

I need to focus on my opinion of myself, focus on my perception of myself, and focus on my goals.  I need to accept myself, accept my flaws, accept my imperfections and love myself regardless.  I need to recommit to my purpose, recommit to my goals, and most importantly recommit to myself.  This is a journey of self-discovery; a conscious effort to change my life everyday.  I need to focus, accept, recommit, and only then will I have real progress. 

Just sayin.

Love ya dolls!

~Mych

Video Blog Post #4

It's been awhile... but uhhh... yeah!

My friends even helped me with it!  Enjoy!  We did.

Really!?

Really!?  A statement with many different inflections.

My first "Really!?" statement pertains to the fact that today was weigh-in day.  Drum roll please...  I've lost 3 lbs since last Wednesday.  That's a grand total of 72 lbs!  I'm 3 lbs away from my birthday weight loss goal.  I'm so happy its ridiculous.

My next "Really!?" statement is directed at Facebook and my Facebook "friends" & or "followers."  I recently posted the link to my blog post Soap Box on Facebook, like I do with every blog post I write.  When I woke up this morning... the link had disappeared.  Looks like I managed to offend someone enough that they flagged it and it was removed.  I was shocked at first, then angry, then disappointed, and now I just laugh.  In all actuality, I'm really quite proud of my post and I'm really proud it touched someone so profoundly that they couldn't take it.  I must have struck a nerve.  Maybe it was my strong language, maybe it was my colorful attacks on each gender, mayhaps it was the attack on my own religious community, or perhaps it was just my overall opinion that someone found so offensive.  Regardless I hold to the fact that I believe in what I said.  I am okay with the fact that what I said hurt someone.  You know what?  The truth hurts.  Telling the truth & hearing the truth isn't always comfortable.  I don't regret what I said, nor do I apologize for it.  It is what it is.

My final "Really!?" moment happened after my workout this morning.  So, I found my old "skinny" jeans today.  And I tried them on.  After I tried them on, I shuffled through some old pictures on Facebook.  Care to view a few?  

A few months ago, I never would have posted these (and now they're accessible on Facebook!  Man have I changed!)  But I've realized, the past is the past.  These are great identifiers of my progress & great motivators to keep me from EVER going back there.

This was me at my best friend Chrystal Hayes wedding.  I won't lie about the fact that these pictures make me shudder. 

HOLY SHIZ BALLS.  I was enormous.  It really helped cement my new body in my minds eye.  I really am fit now.  I really am physically attractive now.  I still have some work to do, but I've come A LONG way.  

I can honestly, genuinely say... I'm happy now.  Happier & healthier than I've been since I was a kid.  This has been the most fulfilling, life changing, and perspective altering experience in my life.  I love my new lifestyle and it has provided me a new life.  The life I've always wanted and deserved.  

I'm 72 lbs lighter and 72 thousand times happier.

Being happy has helped me really see that life is beautiful and people are beautiful.

Love you all, more than you can fathom.  I wouldn't have had such success without my amazing network of support. 

Much love my dah'lings!

~ Mychal

Soap Box

I don't mean to preach from up on my soap box again... oh wait, yes I do.
This is my blog after all.  Just sayin.


I feel the need to vocalize my feelings regarding certain social & cultural practices in my religious community while also addressing disturbing societal practices of a similar nature.  I suppose I need to do it for my emotional & mental well being.  


First of all, I want to address the men of the world.  I know a large percentage of you don't follow my blog, nor do you give a flying rat's ass what I think about your gender; but humor me...


Take some brilliant advice from one of your own.   I've no idea who made this but I applaud him for doing so...

Dear Men of the World: MTFU.  

Please, for the love of God: Man The F*ck Up.

I grow increasingly weary of listening to my fellow Females of the World do nothing but bitch about how y'all do nothing.  PLEASE SHUT THEM UP.  The incessant immaturity, lack of motivation, relentless need to be "taken care of", and crafty manipulation tactics MUST STOP.  What happened to men taking pride in themselves, in their talents, in their jobs, in their ability to be "suave."  Why do you all refuse to woo women?  You all have a backbone, or at least I'm assuming you do, please attach it to your nuts.  Grow up.  Man up.  Find a woman, sweep her off her feet.  Take care of her.  And she will in turn take care of you.  

I know what you're thinking... you have no idea what you're talking about Mychal.  I'm sure you feel a great need to bitch and moan to me about how I'm wrong, about how women use you, hurt you, how one may have ruined your life.  STFU (Shut The F*ck Up).  You know what your problem is?  You're picking the wrong girls.  Want to fix your problem?  Stop picking the wrong girls! Or perhaps it would be more appropriate for me to say this: stop allowing royal bitches to pick you!   I hate to break it to you, but big breasted, tiny waisted, super models are not the norm.  Oh come to think of it... they're not even REAL. That being said, odds are... you're not going to get one, ever.  Stop passing over what you deem to be "average" women.  I guaran-damn-tee that there is nothing average about them.  Every woman you pass by, every "she's just a friend" or "she's not really my type" you neglect is an incredible woman & an even more incredible opportunity that you're missing out on.  

Maybe you're on the other side, thinking you're not good enough for anyone.  STOP BEING A PUSSY.  Pardon my bluntness.  You don't think you're good enough?  Go for it anyway.  Go for her & work harder to earn her.  Women's innate most desire, is to be desired.  To be pursued.  To be WANTED.  Everyone, men & women alike are afraid of rejection.  But you've got to remember, things of value don't come without a price.  Be willing to pay the price for love.  It won't happen in a day, a month, or maybe not even in a year; but it will happen.  Grow a pair... and make it happen.  

***

You're turn girls... 

Dear Women of The World (especially those in my religious community): 

Oh, I'm sorry.  Did that offend you?  Want to know why?  Because it's TRUE.  Fact.


You'll are sluts!   I get so tired of women who complaining about how men won't pursue us anymore.  You wonder why men won't date you?  It's because we're all giving it away.  I can say this because I've made the same mistakes and I've fallen into the same traps that I'm about to call you out on.  Ready?


Answer these questions to yourself honestly:


Have or do you make men food (meals & or treats)?  Have, do or would you cuddle with them?  Have, do or would you make out with them (I'm talking non commital here)?  Have you or do you do these things without being in or having any real potential for a relationship?  Do you do these things to encourage/convince them that you're a catch, that they should want you?  


News flash dolls, men aren't falling for it.  They're crafty little buggers and they've figured it out.  Now they're using you.  But really, what do you expect them to do?  You are giving them all sorts of perks without having to EARN it.  Men should have to earn your affection.  I have an idea; maybe you should make a guy kiss you because he likes you, not kiss him to make him like you.  I mean don't get me wrong, a little enticing never hurt anyone.


We women need to learn how to entice, how to tease, how to tantalize.  I don't mean whore it up.  Be classy.  Having standards and playing hard to get (within reason) is sexy.  You want a man to work to earn you? Give him a little taste and then make him EARN the rest. Men will work to earn your love and affection, but not if you're giving it away!  Believe that you have WORTH.  You ARE a prize!  You're beautiful.  You're strong.  You're intelligent.  Men are lazy and dumb because we're allowing them to be! A worthwhile guy won't be a dead beat.  But men won't be worthwhile until we STOP letting them think that they can get away with being a loser.  

Stop giving up on your dreams & your expectations.  You deserve to be happy.  And remember to give every guy a chance!  You want guys to give you a chance?  Well it works both ways sweetie.  Besides a model, a football player, or a brain surgeon might not be the right guy to make you happy.  A hard working "average" guy (who really isn't average at all... more like exceptional) will make you happy beyond your comprehension.


If you don't believe me then you have some serious self evaluation that needs to take place.  Don't get me wrong, I still have my days of emotional fragility, loneliness, and overwhelming hopelessness. But more often than not, I believe that I'm beautiful.  I believe that I have worth.  I know what I deserve.  I wear makeup, I watch what I eat, I work out, I fix my hair, and I wear skanky-ass shoes because it makes me feel beautiful.  And me feeling beautiful is what translates into confidence.  Confidence is what enables me & others seeing my internal and external beauty.  So, here's my thoughts; you don't like you?  Change it.  You want men to view you differently?  Make them.  Making changes, finding your confidence, and knowing that you DO deserve to be happy will help you believe that a man's opportunity to be with you is the ultimate prize in life. 


Still don't believe me?  Think about this; Women are the bearers of culture. 


How you carry yourself, how you allow yourself to be treated, how you view the world is how your future daughter will do the same.  The type of man you choose to have a family with & your interaction with him will influence how your future sons will view women.  Does that change your perspective a little?  


I think a lot of people, a large percentage of humanity, has a great fear of living & dying alone.  But you know what... I'd rather be alone than make a rash decision and/or selfish choice in my choice of intimate companionship.  There are eternal ramifications to settling for less than we deserve.


I hold to my belief that all people are beautiful.  All people have boundless potential.  Love is a choice.  Happiness is a choice.  Change is possible.  Life is about progression and growth.  Life is about where you end up, not where you've been. 


No one gets to live your life but you.  Why aren't you living it?


SFD.  So F*ck Destiny.


Go out there and MAKE YOUR OWN.

Much love my dah'lings!


~  Mychal 

It is possible!

69


And I don't mean that in a dirty way.  


I weighed in today.  And I've lost a grand total of 69 lbs!


I'm FREAKING out right now.


I haven't been this small since I was a freshman in high school.


Crazy.  


I'm 21 lbs from my goal (losing 90 lbs)!  6 lbs from my birthday goal (losing 75 lbs).  AHHHHHHH!


I'm beyond happy right now. 


My eyes are kind of watering. 


I didn't think that during the Holiday's I'd have this type of weight loss achievement.  


I'm so proud of myself!  I was super careful and it paid off!


Now I've got to kick it into high gear.  Back to a healthy eating and exercise regimen.  I CAN do this.


I've got to meet my goals by this summer so me and my girl Lindsey can kick it in Destin, Florida for a week.  BOO YEAH. 

Ummm... NO MUFFIN TOP

I love my life.

NO MUFFIN TOP.

It's 2012 B*TCHES!

Happy New Year Biznitches!!

I mean that in the most loving and endearing of ways...

So who's ready for some new pictures!?  

I haven't weighed in for a few weeks.  I'm relatively certain I haven't gained any weight because all my clothes fit, SADLY I'm also relatively certain I haven't lost any weight.  

Da'gum holidays!  

But I love the holidays...

Christmas brought me delectable perfume and these snazzy new hooker heels: 

 


Then, on New Year's Eve my AMAZING mother gave me a pair of 5 inch pink heels & this super cute dress:

 I'm SO spoiled.  Or more appropriatley... I'm so BLESSED!

I'm so stoked for this new year!  These last 25 lbs are SO OUTTA HERE it's ridiculous.

LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH.

Just sayin.

~Mych