Determination

I weighed in again yesterday... drum roll please...

I lost 4 more pounds!

That's 19 lbs in 3 weeks, and 22 lbs total!

I'm finally starting to notice a difference too.  I am determined to become the person I want to physically.  I think it will help me love myself and have the confidence I've always pretended to have.

I know... I'm a great actress right?  Hahaha... but I have to admit that it was exhausting to pretend to be happy when I wasn't.

With every pound, and every new day I find myself happier, and that is almost as exciting as the weight loss.

I've also trying to decide between 2 rewards when I meet my weight loss goal.

1. See Mumford & Sons live in concert.
2. Go to Destin, FL.

Comments and explanations regarding which I should choose and why are welcome in comments below.

Oh... and dearest followers...

THANK YOU for your continued support and love.

You're helping me achieve my goals!

Accomplishment

I weighed in today.  Week two... 5 more lbs!  That's a total of 15 lbs in 2 weeks!  CRAZY.

I'm actually starting to notice a difference.  This is AWESOME.  I'm happier then I've been in a LONG time.

I can't express in words how excited I am.  Nor can I express my appreciation for my family, friends, and followers who encourage and support me in my new lifestyle.  You are all amazing and I couldn't have done it without you!

Onto week 3 and a whole new me!

Scared

Just having one of those regular (yet fleeting) moments where I start to doubt that my to physical change is really happening.  I mean... I know that I lost 10 lbs last week for a grand total of 13 so far... but I'm sitting here feeling terrified that my next weigh in will crush my soul.

Not to fear... I've been sticking to my diet and physical activity regiment with Beiber fan-like dedication.  I'm just scared that I'll never be satisfied, that I'll never feel pretty, that I'll never like myself.  

The personality thing is hard too... I can't figure out what/who I want to be... or maybe I do know but I'm to afraid to voice my desires.  Gah.

Deep breaths.  Tomorrow is a new day.  Another fresh start.  Another step forward.  That's all I can do right... keep moving forward.

SHOCK

Drum roll please...

Attention!  Attention!  

Extra Extra!  Read all about it!

Mychal Allen has lost 10 lbs on the first week of her diet!

Yeah... that's right.  10 lbs.  

I'm kind of freaking out right now.

I'm beyond words excited.

I went into the physician who is monitoring me on my 500 calorie (w/supplements) diet, hopped on the scale for my first week result... and I lost 10 lbs.  My Doctor was even surprised!  He said that is the most he has ever had someone lose in the first week on this program!  Holla!!!

My faith is renewed!  I was afraid I would only lose 2 or 3... 

I can do this!  I am doing this.  

Sanguine

An adjective meaning cheerfully optimistic, being positive or hopeful.  


An adjective which is beginning to describe me.

My new 500 calorie a day diet is working.  Well... I think.  I'm weighing in once a week so I won't have a verifiable new number to add to my 3 lbs until next week.  However I feel confident.

I'm finding that a 250 calorie lunch and dinner is a lot of food.  Well... a lot of healthy food.  I'm pretty damn good at seasoning the veggies so I'm quite satisfied until the next meal.

40 days of this.  I can do it!

It was a bit of a rough week so I haven't really been feeling sanguine until today.  Hahaha

Unfortunately I've been sick for the past few days, my house has been hectic and loud, and certain persons residing within it have been profoundly irritating.  I'm going to blame my week of irritation, aggravation, and emotional meltdowns to hormone induced mood swings.

Things are only going to get better this next week.

I have the unique opportunity to hang out with my younger brothers all week.  My parents and grandmother left for the week to finalize some medical paperwork in California so we're going to PARTY this week.  And by party I mean, cook, clean, babysit, take care of the animals, run errands, and clean some more.  It'll be epic.

Hopefully I can find some time to blog too.

Morning

As in the 6 a.m. kind.

And... I LOVE THEM.

I'm really digging on the tranquility of the mornings.  They help me find my Zen for the day.  I'm serious.  I love the mornings.  They are so clean, so fresh, and so vibrant.  They promise a day filled with opportunity while emanating calmness and serenity.  

So now that I have spouted out my warm fuzzy feelings about morning time, I suppose I should write something of value.

So to start I think I'll comment on a few goals.  That's the whole point of this blog anyway.  I shall begin with goal #7.  Goal #7 is ROCKING my world right now because Effy is here!!!

Is she not adorable!?  I love my little dust mop.  She's such a cutie.  She does this adorable thing where she rolls around onto her back for you to rub her tummy.  I'm talking completely spreadeagle on the floor, she's such a goof. We've been working on potty training (which is really hard) which is why I've learned to appreciate the mornings again (since she wakes me up to go every morning at 5:30 a.m.) so it's been a beneficial relationship thus far.  She's also learning to sit.  Not bad for having her for less than a week.

Goal #1 is slowly being worked on.  I stayed for the whole 3 hour church block on Sunday.  Go me!  I didn't go to FHE on Monday though.  I was planning on it but dinner was late and I was watching American Chopper (Go Paul Jr.!).  I'm planning on going to institute again this week.

Hmmm... goals #3 & #4 were accomplished at church on Sunday.  I'll just say... I'm hysterical and made quite a few people giggle.  Attending church and Institute are helping with the whole getting to know God thing again (goal #6) too.  Next to losing weight, finding my faith is proving to be one of the more difficult goals on my list.  Well, perhaps I should restate that, I have faith in God and Jesus Christ.  While I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I am ashamed of being a member of the LDS church.  *GASP* "OM GOSH, did she really just say that!?"  Yeah, I did.  Because to be frank, my church isn't particularly tolerant, kind, or Christian.  And it isn't the church as much as it is the people.  So I'm trying to reconcile that right now... which is proving difficult.  But I'm trying!  So don't fret for my soul to much.

Lastly,  I want to make a brief statement about goal #1.  I'm trying something new for the next month and a half.  It's kind of a surprise.  It's going to be intense.  So watch for the pounds lost gadget to see some updates here pretty quickly.  Wish me luck!  

Being Positive

Ok, so I am rocking the whole daily exercise routine thing.  I'm managing to allot for 45 minutes to an hour everyday.  I'm eating right and I'm feeling better everyday.  I think I can say that I am succeeding with goal #2.  I'm hoping that in a few weeks/months I will have made it a habit, one that I can't not do.

I've also been making conscious efforts on goal #5.  I haven't really been about to go out and serve the community (yet) but I have been trying to give service around the house.  Since I live at home for the time being, I have had the unique opportunity to help out with house chores, yard work, and farm work.  While I used to gripe and moan, I try to do it now with a smile on my face, and do chores that aren't my own (just to surprise certain family members).  It's been fulfilling.

Now, I have to confess that I am struggling with goals #1 and #7. 

As far as goal #1 is concerned, I'm finding the will power to go out to social functions exceptionally difficult.  I have no desire to attend young single adult activities (institute, FHE, and even church).  I'm attempting to use this guise that "Oh I have no friends.  It's hard to go with no friends."  Lame excuse.  I know.  If I go, I'll make friends.  More importantly, I'm an independent woman and I shouldn't need some crutch to interact with people my own age.  I just need to be positive about the whole experience and find the will power to overcome my trepidation and perceptions about Latter-Day Saint Young Single Adults (yeah... I recognize that I have a negative attitude towards that particular group).  

Now, goal #7 is the bane of my existence.  I've heard the whole "To be happy... you have to choose to be happy."  Or "Money can't buy you happiness." Blah blah blah... True... but blah blah blah.  It's hard to be happy when I have no job, no apartment, no way to pay my bills, have only a 2 year old to carry on a conversation with (because she's the only one who will listen to me - even though she HATES me) and even she won't listen!  Woof!  Now that I've gotten that off my chest I can say this:

Mychal, work on being positive.  Everything is going to work out (fingers crossed).  

I'm trying; and trying is the most important part.  I guess I felt like I should have some magical transformation overnight... but it didn't happen.  More importantly... it shouldn't have happened!  We're trying to make long-lasting, real life, serious effing changes here!  Sh*t like this doesn't just happen.  Goals have to be worked at, only obtained through vigorous and dedicated effort.  I've got to be positive!  That is the only way I'm going to accomplish making the changes I want to make.

So... *gulp*... I should to go to institute tonight.  We'll see what happens.  Baby steps... baby steps... some steps are better than no steps... right?

*** Addendum ***
I went to Institute tonight!  I know, I'm shocked too!  Now, I'll admit, it was LAME.  But that's ok.  I went, I socialized (ish) and I learned a few valuable lessons.

1.  Institute is Seminary for Young Single Adults.
2.  I miss BYU Religion classes (particularly my classes taught by Alonzo Gaskill).
3.  I am fun!  Darling Brianna Sharri sat by me tonight and I made her laugh many many times (although I may have corrupted her a bit too... oops).
4.  I have good friends.
5.  I'm going to keep going.

Go me!  I'm a WHINNER.