Balance

Dah-lings!

My next 6 weeks are going to be INTENSE.  Expect weekly updates regarding my weight loss, goal updates, and general AWESOMENESS.

And in 6 weeks, I'll post another picture timeline!  Gah!  I'm so excited... I can barely contain it!

Okay, okay.

I need to settle down.  It's time to talk about something pertinent.

I had some trouble deciding on what I wanted to blog about today/this week.

One suggestion was to talk about "how stupid boys are, haha".  Which, while valid, is simultaneously voided by the fact that we women folk are pretty stupid too.

I've decided to take a different avenue today.

I want to talk about CONFIDENCE.

Now, I've never been exceptionally good with the self-confidence thing.

Part of my whole, entire self-help, top to bottom, inside and out, makeover, was to help me discover confidence. I know that to a lot of people, my total makeover may seem vain, shallow, and selfish.  Odds are, you think that because you've never dealt with a lack of confidence so strong, that you actually hated yourself.

What!?  Mychal, you hated yourself!?  I don't believe that.


Believe it baby.  It's the truth.  I was rooted so deep in my self hatred that I couldn't allow anyone else to not hate me. Vicious cycle isn't it?  That's why I was a total and complete b*tch... especially to guys.  If you feel unloveable, you refuse to believe that anyone could ever love you... so you make sure they can't love you.  I was so disgusted by myself that I was sure no guy could ever be attracted to me.  I believed that all men found me repulsive and as such, I treated them accordingly.  This was never the case... but I was to damn dumb at the time to figure it out.

But never fear!  I'm growing out of it!

I have decided that I hate the fact that other people can see your value and beauty long before you ever see or recognize it yourself.  That is so BASSAKWARDS.

My new look/body is gaining some attention.  Which, while flattering, is freaking me the eff out.  It's so hard to believe that I'm "hot", "sexy", "attractive", "beautiful", or even just "cute".

But you know what... I AM. I hate the fact that society thinks it gets to dictate the ideals of beauty.  WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?  I'd like to decide what I think is attractive and what is unattractive.  I hate people who try to tell me what to do/feel/think.  So you know what... I think I'm eye candy.  Yeah, that's right.

And you know what... I think you're eye candy too!  And I think we should all own the fact that we're hella good looking.

My new mantras include (but are not limited to):

Pretty is what you ARE, beauty is what you DO.
and
I'm sexy and I know it.


And even if I can't accept them all the time... they're true.  So I need to get over it.

I will be a balanced compilation of self-awareness, compassion, intelligence, humility, and confidence because THAT is what makes a person "hot", "sexy", "beautiful", and "cute".

Woof.

I now step down from my soap box.

Until next time my loves!

-Mych